fundamental laws of tourism: the essential elements of an aesthetic disease [1]
few weeks ago, the tourism I was an abstraction. That is, something that exists even though I knew it seemed, somehow, "normal." (A one in life everything seems normal until you dare to understand.)
Living in a city where the high season does not end, infested throughout the year that hinder tourists not only traffic, but in general the passage of any form of peaceful life, I found the monster in all its concrete and abominable horror.
Gone are the days of splendor in Venice, "La Serenissima", he was. Today, that title can only be the revenge of history on the city's most exquisitely arrogant Europe met XVI.
Taking advantage of my proximity to the dreaded, I set out to discern the essential features of this dreaded social dysfunction that engulfs aesthetic, threatening, remnants of the old culture World (the one that ended in 1965 when global was wrong with the plane tickets).
Inspired by the classic Carlo M. Cipolla ( The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity , 1976) or Theory of Stupidity, as it is known in Italian, I wanted to valid sentences condense the essential features of this dangerous disease . However, the task is complete. Further contributions from epidemiologists most experienced (and masochistic) are called to develop in detail main symptoms and why not, a cure other than genocide. Here we will just state them.
1. Along with Facebook , soap operas, reality shows and Colombian football, tourism is the main form of slavery.
1.2. If given whip, tourists ask for more.
2. cultural voracity of tourists varies in direct proportion to their ignorance.
2.1. Anything worth to be seen with the eyes will inevitably be photographed or filmed. And vice versa.
2.2. Tourism is the antithesis of the perfectibility of man, his ability to educate: the corollary of its irreversible decline as a species.
3. Tourism is also a form of evil.
3.1. categorical imperative: be a good man, unable to do no matter where tourism.
4. All the tourist stepping momentarily loses its meaning mystical, historical and aesthetic.
4.1. From a tourism perspective, any artistic reality becomes pedestrian.
5. The five essential weapons in the tourist approaches the world: the camera, phone, map, speed and jerk face.
picture of two typical Colombian tourists defiling Venice for 4 years (armed to the teeth.)
5.1. The two great enemies of the tourist: the silence and solitude. In addition, any declaration of peace.
5.2. numb the tourist's imagination is unable to travel in time. His past valuation parameters are even more stupid than this.
5.2. numb the tourist's imagination is unable to travel in time. His past valuation parameters are even more stupid than this.
5.3. Respect for the beauty is impossible. Silent contemplation of any object is not an option. Tourists always have a stupid comment to make. They laugh medieval art for your status atheist; criticize the monarchy based in the Communist Manifesto, Casanova will not forgive him not to use condoms, or the Doges his ridiculous clothes, lack of environmental awareness and the prohibition of abortion and gay marriage.
6. Anything tourists will necessarily eat disgusting.
6.1. No matter what you offer, it will absorb without hesitation, provided that the restaurant is next to a monument and the card is in your language.
7. What has survived tourists survive the end of the world.
7.1. If there Hell is a place in high season all year round.
8. Buy objects of unsurpassed ugliness ( souvenirs) and then display them without restraint in places of privilege. The notion of "investment" as the tourist.
9. The interest of tourists from any place or object is a direct function of the amount of idiots who surround him.
9.1. A building only worth visiting if you have to queue to even get out of it.
10. minimalist definition of a tourist: he said of being inhuman, but that does not walk kicks cities.
10.1. Version française : individu qui est press rien pour voir tout comprendre, qui fait "des villes et des pays au lieu de les découvrir, qui sans jamais phagocytosed taste.
typical picture of Colombian tourists posing as funny in Abu Simbel
[1] Translated from the original Le leggi fondamentali tourism: essenziali elementi di estetica a malattia, the premium Italian opera in volgare (molto volgare) of the undersigned who, after owner text, withdrew to continue in that language out of respect for their intrinsic beauty (the language) .
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